I just made out with a guy for $7.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
