No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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