she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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