I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
