Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
