you lied. pity sex is amazing.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize