i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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