I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
