I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
