I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize