oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I think I am morally bankrupt
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
