Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I can't put those talents on a resume
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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