Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
