yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
