You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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