On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
This toilet bowl is my home.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
