Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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