It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
