i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
