would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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