my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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