question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
