Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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