You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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