It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
