Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
