that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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