How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
