dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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