You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
