New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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