Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
