Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
