god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
