lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
