please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Barsexuality is the new black.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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