did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
