physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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