Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize