pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
