my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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