flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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