My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I came so hard my ears popped.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
