how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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