If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize