Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
