Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
