The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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