Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Small penises have feelings too.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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