office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
