then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
