we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
