I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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