Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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