Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
