I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Randomize
