i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
