At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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