Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
