So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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