The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
