They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
