Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I need to sanitize my soul.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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