I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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