Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
