Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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